26-year-old demands older sister use $15k of inheritance money towards $60,000 wedding, flips out when she refuses: 'Dad would want her to have the wedding of her dreams'

It is common knowledge that wedding planning can make even the most reasonable of people go crazy, and the already unstable go even crazier. Planning those longed-for nuptials can become an escalating disaster of unrealistic expectations, failed schemes, and arguments. What is supposed to be a happy event can end up being the ultimate stressor, bringing resentments to the surface and sometimes even fracturing relationships.

Being the close relative of somebody who is planning a big wedding often goes one of two ways. Either they end up being the problem somehow, or they unwillingly get roped into the drama that their family member is putting upon them. Entitled behavior can be at its height during this time, not least when it comes to the topic of money. These fancy parties do not come cheap, and when funds are looking stretched, it is the nearest and dearest who start to feel the pressure to make a donation.

Author image for Ally Perry Ally Perry
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    Cheezburger Image 10545694720
    via Ky Nang

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • In this story, a woman who was engaged herself found that she was causing controversy when she refused what she felt was an unreasonable request from her younger sister, who was planning an extravagant wedding. After their dad passed, the sister had received his house and she had received a lump sum of money.

    Because of this, the younger sibling was demanding she use some of this cash towards her big day. She wasn't happy when she didn't get what she wanted, and neither was their mom. However, the woman wanted confirmation that she wasn't in the wrong.

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    Would I be wrong for refusing to let my sister borrow 15K from my inheritance to pay for her dream wedding?

    So for context, my dad passed away three years ago and left me (28F) and my sister (26F) each a portion of his estate. He was very intentional about how he divided things. My sister got the house (which was already mortgage free) because she lived with him and cared for him toward the end. I, on the other hand, got a lump sum of money, about $50,000, because I had moved out years earlier and was already renting my own place.
    via SmilesNSarcasmm
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    My sister has always been a little reckless with money. She works, but she's constantly taking trips, buying luxury items, and upgrading her car every couple of years. Meanwhile, I've been using my inheritance responsibly: I paid off a huge chunk of my student loans, built an emergency fund, and I'm saving for a down payment on a house.
    via SmilesNSarcasmm
  • 04
    Here's where the problem starts. My sister got engaged last year and is planning a massive, over-the-top wedding. We're talking a $60K budget with a fancy venue, custom dress, and an open bar for 300 guests. She recently came to me and asked if she could "borrow" $15K from my inheritance money because she and her fiancé are short. She swore up and down that she'd pay me back “within a year” once they got their finances in order.
    via SmilesNSarcasmm
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    Cheezburger Image 10545694976
    via Thomas AE

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    I told her no. That money isn't just sitting there for me to throw around, it's for my future. Plus, given her history with money, I don't believe she'd ever pay me back. She flipped out, crying about how "Dad would want her to have the wedding of her dreams" and how I'm being selfish because | "already used the money to better my life" while she hasn't gotten anything out of hers yet.
    via SmilesNSarcasmm
  • 07
    My mom sided with her and told me I should "help family" and that "weddings are once in a lifetime." But my fiancé (29M) and friends think I'd be insane to hand over $15K for a party. My sister and I haven't spoken properly in weeks. She's told extended family that I'm ruining her big day because I'm "hoarding money."
    via SmilesNSarcasmm
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    For the record, if she had asked for a smaller amount for something important (like medical bills or emergency expenses), I might have considered helping. But a luxury wedding? No. Now I'm being painted as the villain, and I can't help but wonder if I'm being too rigid. AITA for refusing to lend my sister $15K for her wedding even though I got inheritance money?
    via SmilesNSarcasmm
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    SAVINGS
    via Cj (Unsplash+)
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    Outsiders took her side.

    BubblyJolly You're not being rigid at all. A wedding is a one-day party, and it makes no sense to jeopardize your financial future for it. You've been responsible with your inheritance, and she chose to spend hers differently, that's not your fault.
    via BubblyJolly
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    Joyous Jeweel Honestly, with her track record there's no way she'd pay you back. Your dad divided things fairly, and you're under zero obligation to fund her "dream wedding." Standing your ground here is the smartest move
    via JoyousJeweel
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    Icy-Doctor23 ΝΤΑ Ask her to sell the house and split the profits with you and then she can have her money
    via Icy-Doctor23
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    AsparagusCool3830 Sounds like her budget is actually $45k, not $60k. Don't give her a dime, it's not your responsibility and you have zero obligation.
    via AsparagusCool3830
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    Opening_Hawk_6349 Nope you'll never see that money again
    via Opening_Hawk_6349
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    PipB1 Tell her to take a mortgage out on the house - I'm picking there is a major disparity with what you both received as I can't picture a house only being worth $50K so it seems so already got the short end of the deal in the inheritance anyway. If she doesn't qualify for a mortgage then how the h I does she think she would be able to pay you back NTA by any stretch and tell anyone that says otherwise to kick rocks and they can lend (give) your sister the money
    via PipB1
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    HorkupCat ΝΤΑ You'd be a fool to pour any of your inheritance down that rat hole. You'd never get it back and she'd keep hitting you up for more. Tell your mom if the dream wedding is so important she can finance it herself.
    via HorkupCat
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    Chance_Culture_441 Why doesn't she take a home equity loan on the house she owns outright? NTA- it is not on you to fund sister unreasonable party!
    via Chance_Culture_441
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    chez2202 NTA. She got A HOUSE. You got 50k. So she has 2 choices. She can either have a 45k wedding instead of a 60k wedding or she can take out a loan against her FREE house to pay for it. Tell your mother to give her the 15k if the above response doesn't make sense to them.
    via chez2202
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    diceynina She said she got nothing while you made something from your inheritance. She is soo delusional and graduated from stupid school with full honours! She can spend nonchalantly and frivolously, because she has a "fully paid off house"! Fully paid for Houses cost more than $50,000!!!
    via diceynina
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  • 20
    One_Humor1307 NTA. Your sister got a mortgage-free house. If she wants to borrow money, tell her to get a HELOC. A HELOC for a wedding is a terrible idea but better than you losing 15k.
    via One_Humor1307
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    gypsysniper9 She got a house and you got $50k? That doesn't seem fair at all unless it is a shed. If she wants cash, she can take out a mortgage on the house. NTA.
    via gypsysniper9
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    False_Reindeer_3010 Consider this: your sister will not be happy until she has spent all of your inheritance. Do not give in. If she wants an over the top wedding, she can pay for it!
    via False_Reindeer_3010
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